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• Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and go to work in the brewery.
• Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.

• During the whole period of written history, it is not the workers but the robbers who have been in control of the world.

• From the Nicene symbol, formulated at the instance of Constantine, to the Westminster Confession, which was framed by an assembly of divines who had been selected, appointed and maintained by the Long Parliaments, the major creeds of Christendom have been born of the union of church and state.

• Everything is deeply intertwingled.

• It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement.

• We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts.

• What is it: is man only a blunder of God, or God only a blunder of man?

• There are two methods, or means, and only two, whereby man's needs and desires can be satisfied. One is the production and exchange of wealth; this is the economic means. The other is the uncompensated appropriation of wealth produced by others; this is the political means.

• Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

O

• We smile at the women who are eagerly following the fashions in dress whilst we are eagerly following the fashions in thought.
• The reason there are so many imbeciles among imprisoned criminals is that an imbecile is so foolish even a detective can detect him.
• Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.

• If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

• For de little stealin' dey gits you in jail soon ar late. For de big stealin' dey makes you emperor and puts you in de Hall o' Fame when you croaks.

• People don't want handouts! People want hand jobs!

• Modern lamps were the product of Modern Design, which was the product of Modern Art, a product that turned ugly because its producers thought art should constantly change. Art quickly ran out of things to change into that weren’t stupid.
• Swedish subway stations are each decorated by a different contemporary artist and raise the question, Which is worse: vandalism or modern art? Children
• "Children," says Mrs. Clinton, "are like the tiny figures at the center of the nesting dolls for which Russian folk artists are famous. The children are cradled in the family, which is primarily responsible for their passage from infancy to adulthood. But around the family are the larger settings of paid informers, secret police, corrupt bureaucracy, and a prison gulag." (words in italics added)
• It takes a village to raise a child. The village is Washington. You are the child.
• Who is Morris Freud? Sigmund’s lesser-known cousin, also a psychiatrist. He had a theory that there was an aspect to the psyche even more important than the subconscious. He called it "consciousness," the idea being that we sometimes know what we’re doing. It’s never been proven.
• And the nonconformists long ago exhausted the supply of stuff with which not to conform. They’ve been reduced to wearing tongue studs.
• Wine--indeed, all booze--tastes horrid. This is because of the alcohol. Alcohol’s flavor is so bad that no one would ever drink an alcoholic beverage--unless, of course, it contained alcohol.
• A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher.
• Government does not cause affluence. Citizens of totalitarian countries have plenty of government and nothing of anything else.
• ... in 1929 when stocks were crashing, banks were collapsing, and President Hoover was hoovering around. Pretty soon you could buy the New York Central Railroad for a wooden nickel, except nobody could afford wood. People had to make their own nickels at home out of old socks, which had also been boiled, along with the one remaining family shoe, to make last night's dinner. So kids had to walk to school with pots and pans on their feet through miles of deep snow because no one had the money for good weather. My generation has heard about this in great detail from our parents, which is why we put them in nursing homes.
• Samuelson continues: "Marx was wrong about many things ... but that does not diminish his stature as an important economist."' Well, what would? If Marx was wrong about many things and screwed the baby-sitter?
• I begin by proposing that we Republicans take a step back from our partisanship and give a moment’s thought to the decent, well-meaning, intelligent people who oppose us--and how there aren’t any.
• "Curing poverty equals allowing people to get rich." This very simple truth has eluded some of the deepest thinkers in the world's advanced nations.
• In his review of the book Guidelines for Bias-Free Writing, O’Rourke observes: "The authors deprecate commonsense standards of good: ‘Designating countries as undeveloped or underdeveloped implies an evolutionary hierarchy of nations based on wealth, type of economy, and degree of industrialization." Of course it does, you feebleminded idiots.
• When other people get mixed up about the notion that you are your personal property, when they start thinking they own you, the consequences are horrendous: slave trade, the draft, my first marriage.
• Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women are ... good with kids.
• There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself.
• If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.
• There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

• Half this game is ninety percent mental.

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